11 things fom Shabbat
June 13, 2020
Day 93
1. Coffee, of course. Speaking of which, we will no longer be buying Starbucks coffee. We will be ordering from a Black-owned coffee roaster from now on.
2. A 6.5-mile run. Audible. Listening hard, running hard. Absorbing information. At one point, I glanced at my running app, which aparently assigns names to different stretches of the route. The words stared up at me from my phone: "The bad part." It seemed apropos of more than just the hill I was heading towards.
3. One of the biggest changes we have made in the past couple of years is that we have almost completely opted out of the fast-fashion industry. Watching a film called The True Cost rattled us both into action. Fast fashion relies on human and environmental degradation that disproportionately hurts people of color worldwide. Mani started researching ethical clothing companies, mainly in the U.S., that pay their workers a livable wage in addition to sourcing organic materials, with our primary focus on the former. Yes, it is more expensive. But we buy far fewer items than in the past, and they are of much higher quality so they last longer. We also shop on sites like Poshmark and Mercari and buy used clothing. If you are protesting for Black lives but shopping at Urban Outfitters, that right there is one opportunity to line things up.
4. I say this as a work in progress, not in judgment. So many ways we are not even aware of that our lifestyles, things we might not have stopped to really consider, directly uphold harmful systems. We are deeply steeped in capitalism, and capitalism is steeped in white supremacy. Getting ourselves out of this shit is not fast or simple.
5. I read an article today in the Daily Mail about racial profiling at Anthropologie. Multiple employees spoke out about a code word they were instructed to use to "keep an eye on" non-white shoppers. This all came out because of the store's public statement denouncing racism. I saw a very similar thing unfold with a local cafe, which put out a public-facing statement in support of BLM but failed to mention recent experiences where their own Black employees were unsupported.
5. One thing this all points to is that we have to take the time to go beyond the surface. What is really happening inside of these companies? Where will we spend our money?
6. Services. I had invited a friend, who is not Jewish, to join us this morning. It was so meaningful sharing this part of my week with him, exchanging private comments in the Zoom chat during the Torah discussion, and appreciating the ways Judaism points us towards the connections between language and life, inner lives and communal roles and responsibilities, the sacred and the ordinary.
7. A question came up around what it means to be willing to die for a cause.
8. What parts of ourselves are we willing to examine and interrogate and expose, in order to crack open our unwitting participation in toxic ways of relating?
9. One thing we have been talking about here at home today is how everyone has their own thresholds for what constitutes "hard" or "uncomfortable." Mani and I have had many, many conversations about this in the realm of class over the years. I find it useful and necessary to constantly remind myself that we all bring different backgrounds and experiences to the table, and this affects how we show up.
10. A friend called while I was in the middle of writing #9. We shared with each other some of the things that are on our minds and talked about how we are taking care of ourselves.
11. Don't get caught up in confusion. Confusion does not change white supremacy. Knowledge and action change white supremacy. Confusion, I think, is often a signal to slow down and listen to something quieter and deeper in yourself. Maybe that something is fear. Explore the fear. Maybe that something is grief. Tend to the grief. Maybe that something is anger. Experience the anger. Maybe that something does not have a name. Let it be, without trying to figure it out. Confusion may be a habit, something you succumb to when you feel helpless. But you are not helpless. You have power. How will you use it?