I Want to Live the Stories

I want to live the stories, not just remember them. Dusk, the light changing, golden hour. The small miracle of both kids agreeing to walk with me and the dog to the corner and back after dinner, of energy shifting from easy to emotional and back again, reminding me of when they were small and those changes were the barometers of everyday life. I suppose they still are, but with more space between us, less immediate reliance, so that the choice to be together becomes a gift not to squander. Chalupa barreling between us like a mighty little muscle rocket as the sun begins to set. It's these moments, living them, seeing them, writing about them, that sustained me during those baby and toddler years -- and tonight I realized, still keep me. I have had a good laugh with each of them in the past few days, and tonight, the three of us laughed together. For a moment, I am transported to their early childhoods, and just as quickly, delivered back into the present moment, a little more grateful than before.